to be a human resource

Last year I hooked up with a co-worker, and much to HR’s despise, we decided to quit our jobs and formally date. A few months ago, we started pseudo-living together by alternating nights at our apartments. When COVID-19 hit, we agreed to quarantine together, confident that the tricky beginning of our relationship made us immune to silly fights and tantrums. Today he sent me heated texts that I closed the door too loudly (I was trying to be quiet!). I suggested that we should tape the door, or that maybe he can mute himself when I need to get up to use the restroom. He proceeded to send me a diagram of the doorknob, with instructions on how to quietly close a door. “And don’t get defensive about something like this. It needs to be done.” I booked a flight to my mother’s house for tomorrow night, where I’ll have to strictly quarantine for 14 days in a separated part of the house. At least I can open and close my door there. Looks like HR got what they wanted after all. 🤷🏼‍♀️