I couldn’t help but wonder
My girlfriend of 7 yrs and I live together and have been on the rocks for at LEAST the past year. We’re in therapy at least until our therapist's office inevitably closes or starts cancelling due to Corona – it’s a low-cost, high-use place with a sliding scale so it's just a matter of time (drafted this Friday and chickened out on pressing send but the office is officially closed now). The therapy is the only thing holding us together, by a thin string, mostly because I feel like I owe it to her and myself to give it a real chance before I throw away 7yrs (it feels like a marriage! but maybe that's the lesbian in me? lol) . We haven't had sex in way too long and we fight, like have a real big blowout about all the shit that has built up, basically once a week at this point and it would be more if we hadn’t learned about and started respecting each other’s resiliency zones. Thanks therapy! Despite the progress in therapy, I’ve been working myself up to break up with her for the past two weekends and thought I had more time... The fact that both of our jobs thankfully allow us to work from home right now means that we’ll be together 24/7 and ... I just know I don’t have the capacity for any more fights about things we often can’t resolve unless we process in therapy. *carrie bradshaw voice* I can't help but think this pandemic, if we live through it, will help us both stop trying to recoup the sunk costs of this relationship for the prospective payoffs that will never come.
couch surfing
My roommate is, and has always been, awful. Coming to grad school has meant my first ever random roommate and a weird mix of experiences with her, including a trip to the Dean's office within the first month of school (without warning -- who solves their problems this way? Why wouldn't you say something to me first if you had an issue?). I generally try to stay out of our apartment for my own sanity.
A few months ago she started having tearful arguments over the phone. Lots of yelling, audible even if both of our doors are closed. This is just something I got used to; coming home to scream-crying has become a pretty normal thing for me. So yesterday when she started up again I wasn't surprised, until I started to hear things escalate to her banging around, slamming doors, screaming louder than I had ever heard her before. I tried to reach out to her, acknowledge that these are difficult times but request that she quiet down a bit, but that didn't really have any effect. Then I hear knocking on our apartment door. I assumed it was for her, so I let it go, until they kept knocking. I opened the door to POLICE. A neighbor had heard her and called. Honestly, not all that surprising. I let them in, and they knocked on her door to speak with her. She said she was fine and then...slammed the door in the face of the police. They came to my room to apologize for the fact that I had to deal with this and let me know that if I needed anything, I could call. Five minutes later, there was another knock at the door. I open it and the Dean is standing there, and asks, "Do you remember me?" I was honestly just stunned to see her there. Once I let her in, she moved to knock on my roommate's door and then paused to ask how I was doing, since her office had FOUR SEPARATE REPORTS of the cops being called to our apartment because of her since we moved in. That's what pulled me from my stupor of accepting this as normal. Now I'm couch surfing because quite literally, fuck that noise. I have finals this week, ya girl gotta study.
work from home woes
On Thursday evening, my husband and I got into a fight and he stopped speaking to me, so we barely talked that whole night. On Friday, we both found out we would be working from home starting Monday - him for the next two weeks, and me indefinitely. We still didn't talk on Friday after work, and we didn't talk all weekend. Now it's Monday morning and he set up his computer RIGHT ACROSS from me at our dining table (we don't have much space at home). He didn't test out his VPN so he's calling his office's tech person to get help, being very loud on the phone, sighing loudly in frustration while I'm trying to compose emails and get my work done. I don't know how to do this for the next two weeks or more.
custody of the master bedroom
Sorry I’m a little late to the party, but alas I must share my tale filled with literally the deepest irony of all time and a ballad of d¥ke drama as old as time. My girlfriend and I have been together just shy of a year, and being true to our nature, moved in together around the 8 month mark. Of course this involved ignoring countless red flags I knew were there from numerous fights prior, but hey—just like a baby is supposed to save a marriage, moving in together can do the same thing right?? RIGHT?!?!?
VERY long story short, I am a nurse who is volunteering to help corona patients in the hospital and with the homeless; she is a hypochondriac actress/producer currently starring in a short film about a hypochondriac lesbian who is having trouble with her girlfriend because she’s an intractable asshole, completely unwilling to go to therapy and/or work on herself in any way. Needless to say I would say the parallels give me great pause.
So literally 2 days before the US went into massive TP buying hysteria, she would hardly touch me (even when I wasn’t working with Covid patients) because I am infected and my work is gross to her, we get in a massive fight due to her saying something flagrantly hurtful (a monthly occurrence at the least), I get sad, she says words don’t matter, you know the rest! And this camel had met her last straw. “I need SIGNIFICANT time and space away from this relationship,” was literally the phrase I used, and hey! Who knew I was also saying that to the whole ass country!!
Currently I have custody of the master bedroom, while she has custody of the office with futon. We are currently sharing joint custody of my hair dryer and Theragun, she has claimed custody of the cordless hitachi wand, while I am stuck with the plug in hitachi I got when I was still living in a dorm. Ironically, now she wants to hug and hold my hand every opportunity she can ask in attempts at getting me back and all I can say is go off I guess!!
Everyone stay safe and best of luck to those also going through breakups during this weird ass time.
QUARANTINED WITH MY SHITTY BOYFRIEND
SO. Here’s some TEA. My boyfriend and I have been living with one another for almost a year now. He’s been cheating on me this WHOLE TIME. (I have a new place set up, just waiting for my friend to get home to be my roommate) Anyways, besides the point. I have a vacation to Tampa next weekend and I have been informed by my work that if said vacation doesn’t already get cancelled due to the virus, then I MUST self quarantine for FOURTEEN DAYS annnnddd use my PTO for the whole 2 weeks! Completely understandable, of course, but I cannot be QUARANTINED WITH MY SHITTY BOYFRIEND FOR 2 WEEKS because he will more than likely have to quarantine himself even though he ain’t even going ! Next however fucking long is going to be HELL but it’s FINE lmfao hot girl summer is coming.
this quarantine is actually a good thing in the long run
1. my friend from new york is supposed to be visiting his gf in la in a few weeks. unfortunately, his gf lives on a college campus and they’re prohibited from letting ppl stay bc of the virus! i’m the only other person he knows in la and he asked to stay w me! and i said yes. obv. even though i live in a tiny ass studio! w ONE bed! and i mildly like the guy (but not really bc he has a gf and i’ve grown to hate his personality). but god. if nothing changes and everything goes as planned, he’ll be staying w me for a MONTH. who knows what’ll happen when we’re cooped up together for a MONTH.
if his gf isn’t kicked off of campus and sent back to canada and/or if ppl are banned from flying internationally and/or if coronavirus gets cured and everyone lifts their restrictions....... then he won’t be staying with me. but he won’t be arriving til the beginning of april so who knows what’ll happen til then.
2. my friend who’s just a friend who i think is hot and used to like more than a friend but not anymore bc i see him purely as a friend lives, like, a five minute drive away from me. we both love the show MONK and he owns all the dvds and invited me over to binge w him during the quarantine. i know nothing will happen bc i’m not his type and i don’t like him like that anymore but man, i really cannot wait to spend this much time w a hot dude in his house bc of this quarantine. and the fact that we’ll be hanging out purely to enjoy each other’s company and not for any ulterior motives (even though i wouldn’t mind). idk! it’s just nice having someone genuinely want to spend time w me and not find my annoying, anxious ass despicable! :,) especially when it’s a hot man! it makes everything better.
3. not relationship drama but i really hate my friend right now and accidentally ghosted her. i don’t even know why i hate her, i think i’m just a superficial, narcissistic pain in the ass who gets easily annoyed when ppl don’t pay close attention to detail when it comes to my life or to what i’m saying. or when ppl barely pay attention to my problems and bring their’s to my attention, as if i care when mine are obv more pressing! i know! i’m the worst! but during this quarantine i realized that even though a lot of ppl claim to love me, not many ppl are actually there for me. but she was. so hopefully the isolation helps me start communicating w her again bc lord knows i am stubborn as fuck and will draw this out for as long as possible bc i hate admitting i’m wrong and apologizing.
i think that this quarantine is actually a good thing in the long run. everyone’s starting to care for each other, hypotheticals are becoming real and we’re starting to see what our society could be like if capitalism wasn’t ruining our lives, and i’m going to be socializing more than ever despite this being a time of physical isolation! incredible.
he’ll get stuck here
I have been seeing this guy, casually for a few months and pretty seriously (as in sleepovers most nights, discussing things a few months into the future) just for the last month or so.
Well, I’ve had my doubts but now I’m pretty sure he’s not “the one” and I’m not sure how much longer I want to keep seeing him, for various reasons. However- he is all in and wants to ride out the quarantine with me! I am stuck between wanting someone around I can hang out with/sleep with while everything else goes to hell (I live in a one br and already miss socializing) and the terrifying thought that he’ll get stuck here for some crazy length of time.
overstaying your welcome
My husband went to Sweden 3 weeks ago for work with no exact return date as he works a more uncommon job. I was in USA traveling for work as well. After seeing all of the news I bought a one way flight to Sweden to be with him incase anything crazy happened(very cautious and probably because I have a lot of anxiety and this was the only thing to put me at ease). Friends and family thought I was nuts but like also health care and the general government decisions are wayyyyy better in Sweden than USA amirite. So I arrived on Tuesday and shit really hit the fan the past two days in Europe so we have no idea when we’re going home - he’s also not a us national so he can’t enter the USA the icing on the cake was we started staying with a family friend for “a couple days” and now it’s looking more like 2 weeks as it seems the whole country is going to be put on lockdown in the coming days. Does “overstaying your welcome” count during a pandemic? Lol I’m more worried about us having problems with the family friend than each other - we’re in a tiny 2 bedroom European apartment
hanging out AND cuddles
so i’ve been seeing this guy for around two months now (but we met on the apps, so talking for a month prior to the said two months), and i think we’re really getting somewhere (as in, i feel a DTR convo coming in the next couple weeks), BUT this whole coronavirus thing has really thrown a wrench in everything. he’s in grad school, and his college went full remote for his last semester, so that’s added stress. i’m working from home for the next few weeks in my apartment ALONE— my two roommates went home home, so i’m stuck in my tiny nyc apartment by myself for at least two weeks, social distancing myself. the situation is super hard mentally for both of us. and we’re supposed to hang out this weekend, but that’s not looking likely (he had plans, i had some as well). BUT i still really want to see him. i want to ask him to come hang out, order food, watch movie, etc BUT at the same time i’m wondering... is that a good idea? what if either of us unknowingly has it?? BUT i really don’t want this whole thing to slow down the trajectory of what we have going on. but at the same time i’m so cooped up and would loooove the company. and like i want him to hang out with me while i’m working from home (he’s off for his spring break technically). also, i have reservations at a super hard to get into restaurant that i made a month ago later this week, and i want to ask him to come with me, but at the same time, is that stupid?? it’s a big-ish place, so it’s not super cramped. the restaurant hasn’t said anything about closing yet, but is it dumb to even ask while we’re in the middle of this whole thing??? bottom line is i don’t want what we had going to lose momentum because of this thing, but at the same time, i feel like it’s going to regardless. i don’t know what to do!! we could facetime to hang out, i guess, but that isn’t as fun as hanging out AND cuddles. Ugh!!!!!
Postponed breakup
I live with my boyfriend & actually tried to break up with him pre-corona craze, but I will wait until this all blows over because I’m all comfortable and shit.
Unbreakable lease
This isn’t relationship-related but before All Of This my roommate revealed that she low key hates me and wants to move out early. We’ve been trying furiously to break our lease, but our landlord won’t release us until she has a new lessee in place. Just got an email that our landlord’s broker cancelled this weekend’s open house because no one is going to viewings right now, as my roommate and I both head into full WFH.
irresponsible and morally dubious
Not sure if this is what you’re looking for, because my boyfriend and I are NOT quarantining together, but I’m worried we’ll break up because of it. While I am at home quarantining, my boyfriend is doing spring break on south padre island which has not shut down or cancelled ANY of their spring break plans. I’ve stressed to my boyfriend about how dangerous this is, not necessarily to him, but to any people he may spread it to that may not be as fortunate to him, and he gets frustrated that I’m going to make him worry and ruin his trip. I, of course, think he SHOULD worry and the trip SHOULD be canceled. I’m sympathetic to how disappointing that must be but when lives are at stake, I just think it’s irresponsible and morally dubious not to! I hope we don’t, but this could be one of our only real fights we’ve ever had.
UPDATE: unfortunately it’s too late- he’s already driving there with his friends. I keep telling him to turn around and come back, but I really don’t think it’s any use at this point. I’m gonna lose my mind while *I* quarantine by myself!
My husband moved out over coronavirus
Thought I’d share my story! I am an elementary school principal. I have 1300 students and 95 staff members. At this point it’s probably inevitable that I’ll come in contact with Coronavirus. Well my husband suffers from severe anxiety. He works from home which means the last 2 weeks of nonstop CNN while he tries to work. He also has high blood pressure which he read is more likely to die from virus. He decided to move to his mothers to not be infected by me and to self quarantine. I guess I feel abandoned....like we’re on the titanic and he’s in a boat but I’m alone drowning down in steerage like that old couple in bed lol. Oh well. Gotta get back to work tomorrow. I work in a severely low income area and those kiddos need their free breakfast and lunch. Thanks for reading!
Ay yo, really hot boyfriend check
I’ve been going around the house singing “ay yo, really hot boyfriend check” and subbing it in for anything….. .”really hot toothbrush check” “really good dinner check” in the tik tok voice and according to my bf, my brain is officially rotted
We need to stay inside
Earlier today my boyfriend was saying he was going to go to his office to pick something up. He later said he may be filming something on Wednesday. All day I’ve said we need to stay inside unless it’s for food. We went out for a quick walk around the neighborhood to get some fresh air and upon returning I suggest tomorrow we slip a note under our elderly downstairs neighbor’s door (who hates and harassed us for some time, yet we recently introduced ourselves and became likes) and offer our help in case he needs anything. My boyfriend immediately started arguing with me, saying that my suggestion goes against what I said all day about staying inside. I said yes there are exceptions, like helping somebody in need. He wanted to find any problem he could with me wanting to offer help. It turned into a huge fight of me calling him a d*ck etc and now I’m pouting in my bedroom about to go to sleep and this is only the beginning hahah
Groceries
Yesterday my bf and I fought because I loaded up on $200 worth of groceries, but only got fruit snacks and veggies and quesadilla fixings and “nothing we could make a big batch of to freeze.” I thought he was overlooking how nice it was for me to even go and pick up the groceries, and he thought I was being short-sighted and irresponsible by not getting ingredients that would last us longer in the event of a lockdown or quarantine. I started tearing up out of frustration and basically told him to screw himself. We had just driven our dog to the beach near our house, and he said he didn’t want to go anymore because we were in a fight and wouldn’t have a good time. I got out of the car in a huge huff and started walking towards the beach saying it’s not fair to the dog—we came all the way here so he could run around! This led to a movie-like scene where my bf drove down the block next to me, talking to me while leaning out the driver’s side window as I cried and walked angrily. We finally made up about the groceries (we were both right), and had a good time at the beach. We’ve never fought so dramatically before, and felt sheepish afterwards that it was about GROCERIES. Only in the Corona-era would tensions be so high.
“it doesn’t look like you’re working”
Literally this am my bf asked me to make him a bagel and I told him no I’m working, and he actually looked up at me and said “it doesn’t look like you’re working, it looks like you’re staring out the window”
Coronavirus philosophies
if you want a dramatic love story my girlfriend has cystic fibrosis and will literally die if she gets coronavirus and i have asthma which means i can easily get the virus and die from it and i work at a theme park so i’m even more likely to get it.
the moral is we could possibly kill each other if one of catches it but we have done nothing to change our habits of encountering it and we both have sore throats right now ((: