sidenote

Got in a fight with my S/O. He yelled at me “I’m going back to Seattle, straight to the hospital to lick all the f*cking door handles. I can’t take your bullsh*t anymore” Lol. Men are WAY more dramatic than we could ever strive to be. Convince me otherwise. Sidenote I’m really not that bad.

goals 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

i think it’s SO cute that my boyfriend likes to pretend he doesn’t know what a dishwasher is 🥰🙈 like aww babe it’s the appliance rIGHT NEXT TO THE SINK THAT YOUR DIRTY DISHES GO IN AND WHEN THEYRE CLEAN YOU PULL THEM OUT AND PUT THEM AWAY 😍☺️👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

ok boomer

Tonight we played Apples to Apples with our kids and my nine-year-old called her dad a “Cringy Boomer.” 😂😅

tinder is a shitshow

I have no idea why I stayed here. I could have gone home and slept on my own bed. Instead I'm getting high every night and falling asleep on the couch. I try to work during the day, but instead I'm get distracted by the random people that flow in and out of this apartment. Oh, and to make matters worse, my girlfriend of five years and I just broke up. Over Snapchat. And she's my only source of entertainment when I look away from my laptop screen. Tinder is a shitshow right now, but at least a few people's wild stories can keep a conversation going for a few hours. I really wish I went home.

the simple life

My partner and I rearranged a few pieces of furniture so that we can close the bedroom door. Because I need my introvert- friendly bad TV and he needs to play the fucking drums and work off his extrovert ADHD. Also we’ve been really good about keeping every pair of wireless headphones in the house charged. We’re in rural Washington, tho, so we can take the doggo for a walk and he can go for a jog and I can get drunk in the lawn in my bikini. Thank the gods that we’ve already had the poop-with-the-door-open convo after two years of living together. I can’t even imagine how it must be like for people living in big cities. Y’all’s have my love and support and my instant pickup of FaceTime calls. Also, saw your write up on Vogue and I am so happy to share these stories and see other shares. Thanks for everything!

long distance love affair

So, I’m having an affair during this time. Safe to say, it’s fucking tricky. While yeah, it’s been nice to have someone to talk to, someone to turn on, and someone to process this with... There’s only so much fulfillment one can get out of provocative pictures and dirty messages. We’ve been contemplating breaking the rules of our state to meet up, but where there fuck would we even do it? Can’t even FaceTime because well, our people are also always home. For now I guess it’s this long distance love affair? Selfishly hoping this time apart doesn’t bring about any sort of moral clarity for either of us. I’m fairly confident it won’t, but evidently nothing brings out insecurities like isolation. Wish me luck in illicit long distance romance!

quel dommage

Confinement à Paris 3days into quarantine an my partner get a testicular infection. Needless to say my only plan for the quarantine is now non-existent. Fun times.

me and my dog

My dog who is home ALL day alone due to work is perfect. An angel! Lockdown and now I'm home and this shit, decides that everyday he's going to poop inside right in front of the door!!! "Mom!!! Stop messing with my routine!!! This will teach you." He's a dick! Lol. (Note: i love my dog more than anything. He's mine. I can call him a dick)

me and my cat

Well, I moved out nine months ago. Prior to that we lived together for about 3 years....Our relationship has been on the rocks since. He always thinks I have one foot out the door and I'm about to run any second of any day. (Which is sorta true?) I hate being told what to do, and he's bossy by nature. We have a tendency to get on each others nerves and argue about things that are really, really stupid. We have two cats, one came with me and one came with him. They are buds. HIs is 17 and mine is 10. HIs has health problems and mine is, somewhat overweight. I have left my cat with him over the last 9 months with the intention of some day taking him to my place, but I can't quite muster up the heartache to take him away from his buddy...
Meanwhile, my roommate at my apartment came back from overseas and had to quarantine, so... long story short, I've been quarantined with him for days on end. We argue. NO resolution. I'm ready to run and take my cat. this is it. thanks covid. no end in sight..

she said, she said

So. I’ve been dating this guy for about 5 months. We definitely love each other and whatever. But, this past weekend I went out (don’t judge me, covid hadn’t grown or peaked the way it had been this week) and I met this girl who I was SUPER attracted to-but like drunk attracted to not actual attracted to I guess.

Anyway, she’s been texting me and I haven’t been really hitting her back. She asked me today if I wanted to hang this weekend and I’m like “???” She goes “I’m lonely and wanna hang” I don’t wanna be a bitch but I have a boyfriend and am not lonely and don’t know how to break it to her that I’m not trying to let some girl that I met at a bar that my boyfriend doesn’t know about into my home.

Lol. There’s the tea.

innie outie

I thought I was an introvert until I got my current job and now spend all day helping people and love it. I need the social interaction and feel good when I leave work.
But now we're doing WFH and quarantine and I'm stuck at home with family who aren't the most social and I'm going crazy. My close friends are all long distance and we chat daily, except we spent three hours last night in a dumb argument that made no one feel good, partly bc I got way too focused on making sure we all talked through exactly what we meant. Not everyone needs to talk that much! Just me!
So now I gotta figure out how to get my newfound social interaction needs outside of a chat group and family-roommates.
Anyone know how to make friends during a quarantine???

big little fights

I've been stuck at home with my mother for 5 days now. We usually butt heads at the best of times but this quarantine time has definitely accentuated this, as it's not even 12pm yet and we've already had 3 full blown arguments about minuscule things (such as me loading the printer with paper).

another marriage story

Everyone thinks I have the perfect life. I’m married to an amazing, handsome husband (think Jack Pearson)... I have the perfect honor roll, athletic kids. We go to church, have a beautiful home, a great circle of friends. Except I have been having an affair with a man at work for the past year and a half. He lives with his girlfriend. And now we’ve just been notified that work has been canceled for the next two weeks. Possibly longer. Could be until August. We had just finally admitted we were in love last week. And now, we can’t even communicate. Social distancing equals break up equals no closure.

seven weeks in heaven

my boyfriend was in la for a semester-long internship and told me on feb 13 that he might be staying there (i live in nyc). it almost broke us up on valentine’s day - he wanted to keep up long distance no matter what, but LDR no end in sight was a dealbreaker for me, and i was heartbroken. i decided to stick it out for a few more months until it was for sure. in that time, corona happened, his work went remote, school housing shut down, and he flew home to quarantine with his family. because i am also spending this time with my parents, we are now only a few hours’ drive from each other. i hate myself for it but i’m so fucking happy. we had facetime sex in the bathroom. i’m in love

doctors make the worst patients

I'm in a high risk group because I'm immuno-compromised.
My housemate is trying to persuade me it's OK for her to see her boyfriend (who is a doctor) because we can 'just keep to our own rooms for a few days'.

*simon from RHONY* just because i am a man, doesn't mean i can't be a housewife!

Day 9 - Instead of saying hurtful things to each other when tension and anxiety is running high, we have taken to yelling Housewives quotes at each other.
"You're such a fucking liar Camille!"
"Close your legs to married mens!"

We are both grown men.

marriage story

WARNING! Venting session comin’ at ya!!

So all day I’ve been trying to get little things done around the house that i wanted to do...things that made me happy. Like refill my diffuser, change the duvet cover, decorate the guest bedroom...However My hubs and my husky kept following me EVERYWHERE! It literally feels like I have two toddlers! Nonstop talking - nonstop interrupting - nonstop barking. 😡 And I can’t escape.

Then just now I was in the kitchen, prepping for dinner. Hubs sits down at the island and watches me. Just sits and stares. He then proceeded to ask “what are you trying to make” in a very unfriendly and demeaning tone. I told him not to worry about it that I was making it and he should just be happy. Then he proceeded to continue to sit there and watch me finish all the prep, put the dish in the oven and start to do the dishes. I finally slammed the pots down and said “I need to get out of here” and walked away and went straight to my bedroom and locked the door!

This quarantine shit is gonna lead to divorce papers!!!! 😫🤯😡

absolutely mad (men)

I worked at this pretty exclusive ad agency. About max 115 people, we work with a lot of exclusive clients/projects.

So in light of being quarantined, on Monday, without absolutely ANY warning, the company decided to lay off 45 of its best employees w/o severance. And wanna know how they broke the news? Over a FUCKING video conference call, where they invited all 45 people to sit in a google hangouts meeting titled “COVID-19 Updates”, turning off everyone’s microphones besides the head of the company. They couldn’t even bother to call everyone individually.

Some of these people are the most talented, kind, and hard working people I’ve ever met. Some had been there 4 months, others 4 years. 45 people, and I was one of them.

But it’s whatever, most of the people left working there are too stuck up and self absorbed to even reach out to the rest of us to make sure we’re OK.

We don’t need em anyway, we’re in this and out of there together!

trade-offs

My husband of five years is an economics lecturer. He's a great husband, but now he's teaching from home and I have to come to terms with the fact he's The Embarrassing Teacher TM and makes Embarrassing Teacher Jokes TM and I have no choice but to live in his classroom, since our home is very small.
I never wanted to learn this much about economics, nor indeed about my husband.

social distance makes the heart grow

My long-distance ex and I broke up in June, really broke up in August and fully stopped talking in November--until we started talking again in January. Somewhere in between he started dating someone else and I suspect they now live together.

Though we've been good at only talking sporadically, in the midst of my solo-self isolation I checked up on him, and that morphed into a pretty constant dialogue. And so, now we talk (a lot) and since our relationship was largely spent at a great distance, this feels all too familiar. But I live alone! And also love mess! so maybe his co-living social distancing isn't going so well.

Me, alone, I'm doing great, but I really need to get over him.