i just said i’m quarantined
This guy that I’ve been friends/more than friends with for awhile hasn’t texted me in a few weeks and as soon as the virus drama started he Snapchat’s me what are you up to and I send him a snap of me in bed looking longingly out the window saying quarantined and he responds can I come over? .... like no I just said I’m quarantined...
Home renovations vs. coronavirus
Being stuck at home during a lockdown has inspired me to get projects done around our house that have been painfully ignored. This includes painting the recently installed drywall and putting up new mirrors above the vanity in our bathroom. During this new normal, both my S.O. of seven years and myself are working from home on a daily basis. At first I thought it was fun like a snow day, but inexplicably, everything he is doing is driving me insane. The amount I snap at him is increasing exponentially by the day. So last night when I asked him if he could finally hang the mirrors in the bathroom he hesitated, “Are you sure you want to do this together right now?” This was a valid question to ask after I demanded an hour earlier that he eat dinner at the opposite end of the house from me. But I’m stubborn and strong-willed, so of course I reply, “Yes! It will be fine!” One hour, one broken screw (because power tools are acceptable for cheap Target hardware), and three extra mistake holes in the wall later, my SO is slamming doors and tools around because my first reaction to one of the mistake holes being visible outside the frame of the mirror was “too negative”. I’m crying in the mirror because to avoid digging this hole deeper, I can’t add that it’s so fucking off-center I’m never going to be happy with it. We’ll probably survive coronavirus but we might not survive each other.
something old, something new, something borrowed, something flu
My friend's wedding is this weekend. She's freaking out trying to make arrangements to still have it. I have tried to gently tell her that she should just cancel it and get married later this year. Or just have a quick ceremony with the Justice of the Peace and have a 'wedding' later. She isn't hearing it, is in full-blown panic mode and is scrambling to make it happen as the venue, vendors, officiant, bridesmaids/groomsmen and guests all cancel. I still haven't told her if I'm still going or not. I'm thinking nooooooo.........
i do think our relationship is stronger overall
I just wanna say that I've been stuck with my bf for the past two weeks in this TINY nyc apartment and it has been the cutest funnest time. jk - i've had daily meltdowns from cabin fever and he has been cool calm collected and i feel bad so i'm trying to be better. i'm usually the more high-strung and anxious one and a total germaphobe i do think our relationship is stronger overall and there's nobody else i'd rather be stuck with <3
dental dam make out
my ex-girlfriend and i are really good friends and still hook up (classic lesbian set-up). we're not fully quarantined together, but we've been seeing one another and keeping appropriate distance, not touching, etc. but the other night we made out through a dental dam
Extreme Picky Eaters: Co-quarantine edition
Co-quarantining with Extreme Picky Eaters - one is a Tiny Human who thinks I'm a short order cook, another is the husband, who won't eat the same thing two days in a row, refuses to eat meat that has been frozen for more than 3 days, says everything I cook gives him heartburn because I use the "cheap stuff". It's mental gymnastics trying to do any sort of meal planning! Makes me wish for my Russian study abroad host mom, who's rule is 'eat what I provide for you or starve'
If we stay together then we will likely catch the disease
This is a little different. My husband and I are older. We just celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary. We started dating after I had been widowed for a couple of years. My late husband died unexpectedly. We are both Emergency Dept. Nurses. He is 65 years old with comorbidities. I have been begging him to stop working because w/ COVID his risk of dying is 15-20%. If we both continue working we will only see each other through "surgical" masks, goggles, gloves and plastic gowns, as we work opposite shifts. I don't want to lose him , so I am begging him to quit.--- Then I will be on lockdown at the hospital without him. If we stay together then we will likely catch the disease, because we don't have the appropriate Personal Protective Equipment (PPEs) --- No N95 masks, No Tyvek suits, No Negative pressure rooms. No instruction on doffing and donning except youtube. He says that if I get sick, if he quits, then he couldn't live with himself. He says he is not so much afraid of dying, but he is afraid of leaving me alone. We both have seen a lot of death and illness throughout the course of our careers, but we both have acknowledged to each other that what is coming is possibly beyond what we both can endure. Still, he refuses to quit while I work and I will continue to go to work. I wish we could both quarantine.
If you happened to be at a Best Buy in CA, I was the mother who had her daughter scream loudly “Fuck you mom! I hate you”
Despite careful planning and mindfulness these past two weeks, the day shit all over me and I grabbed the day by the throat and squeezed.
1. Forgot about work meeting.
2. Forgot about remote therapy session.
3. Tried to prevent myself from yelling at my husband in front of the kids. He wanted to go play music; I wanted him to avoid COVID-19 as he has diabetes. Within seconds behind a closed door I was screaming at him to the point of giving myself a headache.
4. 20 minutes after the end of his horrific fight, our county was put on Shelter at Home. Fight an extreme moot point.
5. I ran to a little market thinking that a. it was still a secret from the world and b. I'd just grab a bit more cheese. An hour spent in line at my not-so-secret market later, I left with 6 bricks of cheese and BFFs with the two women in line ahead of me. I never caught their names, but we all love each other. Theirs are the last reasonable sweet voices I may ever hear.
6. I decide that now is the day to go to Best Buy and see if they will honor the warranty on my son's monitor. To put a cherry on top, I brought my teenage girl to see about a Chromebook for her. She wanted a new iPad instead. If you happened to be at a Best Buy in CA, I was the mother who had her daughter scream loudly "fuck you, mom! I hate you!" I was also the mother who told her daughter repeatedly to move away from her as she tried to lose her in the store. Then I was the mother who left the store and expected the girl to follow. After 15 minutes, I was the mother who went back in the store, found my daughter and screamed that if she didn't get in the car, I would leave her there. She had two minutes.
7. Teen girl got in the car. She is so out of control. I am doomed.
8. So much dumb shit happened that I cannot possibly list it all, but suffice it to say that my work from home strategy wasn't given proper guidance/direction from my boss, and on top of it, I need to write a self-care plan and turn it in to her. That wins first place in the dumb shit contest of the hours leading up until now.
9. I am fully stocked for three weeks with necessities. I decide that now we need more food like ice cream and begin to online shop on Amazon. There are no time slots left. I begin to cry and my husband asks me when I plan to shave my legs.
10. I realize that very soon the day above will seem quaint.
love hard, wash your hands
We were effectively quarantined for months before the CV19 craze hit American shores. We are in love with our new child and enjoying all the parental moments we are getting with her. More importantly, the hazy fog of new parenthood is being lifted since there is time to do real work on the relationship instead of our schedules turning us into passing ships in the night. Too tired to hang out has become what can we accomplish together next, and I'm loving it. All of these disasters we are enduring are also stripping away the fat of our society and reminding us of what is important, what truly endures. That's the kind of thinking that makes sure humanity survives. Love hard, wash your hands, and hold the incompetent responsible for this mess.
it’s me and the two cats
My housemates are out of town, so it's me and the two cats. I honestly felt like things were okay until the word dropped at work that, effective tomorrow, no one comes in except critical staff. I'm not critical staff and had already expressed interest in telework anyways, but was told business as usual until we got the things we needed to work from home. I'm lucky that I get paid for this, but... I'm really bad at sudden changes to my routine and schedule. I'm not... as okay with this as I present myself to be. I have a massive sack full of work I can (and look forward to do) but part of my joy was actually GOING to work and being in the atmosphere with my coworkers. Together. My sister is out of work. Who knows what will happen to my folks' jobs. My aunt lost hers too. Things feel so eerie and out of place. Folks, check on your anxiety prone and autistic friends and family; we are not as okay as we're pretending to be.
they found the tweets
last Sat I came down w a VICIOUS respiratory infection. like sleep 18 hrs a day, stare at a wall in fevered delirium the other 6, cough all day and night, vicious. so i'm self-isolating obv. Thurs I tell my roommates that I've been sick & we have a whole conversation abt quarantine protocols, roommates not stopping at "are you ok/do you need anything" before jumping straight to "how dare you inconvenience us with your illness". my roommates, ms "secret girlfriend practically lives with us" and ms "constant parade of strangers without asking", continue to bring guests to our home, constantly occupy our common spaces so I can't get food, etc etc. so I'm minding my own business tweeting angrily about them. and then they FOUND. MY. TWITTER. now ms "showering with secret gf in our communal shower" and ms "aggressive in the group chat about a hair in the kitchen even though her cat's hair is all over the house" want to lecture ME about decency & consideration while they've been LITERALLY endangering me & my currently vulnerable lungs. they want an APOLOGY for my tweets (on my personal twitter which they do not follow!) while they literally complain to each other about me every day in our house while i am home. ms "constant strangers in our house with nary a word to anyone" would in particular like me to know that I am "childish" for not "communicating." I am just trying to mind my own business and not get pneumonia here but they seem DETERMINED to have a fight and it is going to be M E S S Y.
divorce
my husband chugged his coffee yesterday (literally said, "hey see this coffee? watch this.") and then shit his pants 1 hr later. walked to the bathroom holding his butt cheeks together and did not make it. he did not think the two were related. his shorts and underwear are in a plastic bag. i told him to take a shower and he got mad at me saying "i showered this morning!"
honestly, there is no way we make it through this.
there’s a reason i don’t home school my kids
Stuck at home with a strong willed, hormonal twelve-year old daughter who's just found out she will not be able to see her first boyfriend (whom she loves and plans to marry). Needless to say she is not a happy camper and is making all of our lives miserable. School has been cancelled for three weeks during which time parents have been instructed to not view this as a vacation and to keep our children busy with schoolwork (which the school has not provided). I am not a teacher and there's a reason I don't home school my kids. On day one, said daughter spent the equivalent of the few hours we told her to spend on schoolwork (three hours less than she normally would spend at school) stomping around protesting that this was an unreasonable amount of time. Tears and arguing followed during which she informed her father and I that she is "mentally more mature" than we are. Not sure we will survive another three weeks of this. Thank God she has an iPad to communicate with the new boyfriend. At least that gives us a few hours a day with some peace.
party of 8
My family of four sold our home at the end of February, a few days before a F-4 tornado hit our city. Then, a few days after that, the COVID-19 quarantine began. As a result I, my husband, our two daughters, our dog, two cats, and pet mouse are living in the small space above my in-law’s two car garage (without any plumbing) until all this blows over and we can purchase our next home.
scheming an escape to a cabin
My boyfriend and I broke up last Tuesday before things really started to shut down around the city. It was mutual and amicable. He got a new job in San Diego and I am staying here to begin my PhD this fall. He wasn’t planning to leave for another few weeks so we continued life as good friends/roommates. He went home for the weekend to be with his family on his birthday and came back totally cold. We’re both stuck in our one-bedroom in an attempt at social distancing, though it has quickly transformed into emotional distancing as well. Only a week after the breakup, he is now in the other room scheming an escape to a cabin in Arizona with a guy he used to date until everything settles down. He wants to fly out tomorrow and this is suddenly our last night together. I stand in solidarity with all of the other messy situations and relationships being altered in unforeseen ways by this pandemic. We are in this together, apart.
at least they’re stocked up on alcohol
I am a student in New York City and was forced to move back home to Colorado after my school kicked us out of the dorms. Although I love Colorado and the opportunity it gives me to cleanse from the chaos of the city, I can't live with my parents. Do I love them? Yes. But are they certifiably insane when it comes to handling situations like this? Definitely yes. One of my dad's all time favorite movies is "The Day After Tomorrow." That alone should tell you how this story is going to go. He is the kind of person who keeps two giant barrels of water, a stack of canned food, and an array of apocalypse worthy guns waiting in the basement for a scenario similar to this. He's had these here for years. Like I said. Certifiably insane. So when the coronavirus pandemic began, naturally he bought 200 rolls of toilet paper, 24 candles, water preserver concentrate, and enough food, beer, and ammo to last us at least a year. For the past 3 days I've been living with them and my sister and it's been complete chaos. Today, they brought home 30 planks of plywood to board up our house in case the neighbors "run out of water and toilet paper and try to come take ours." Although I don't have a romantic or dramatic quarantine love story, I have one that involves a doomsday prepper, a blindly supportive wife, an anxiety prone daughter, and me-a daughter who would probably rather be quarantined alone in NYC than in a house that's making a virus seem like a nuclear bomb. At least they're stocked up on alcohol.
“don’t get relationship tattoos”
A week ago, my partner of ten years broke up with me with very little warning. I came home from work and he had an IPad note full of reasons why it wasn’t working out. For context on how little warning I received, he had gotten a tattoo to commemorate our tenth anniversary two weeks earlier (classic, right? Don’t get relationship tattoos!). I was devastated for about two days before it became clear that I do not need his dead weight following me into the coming apocalypse. All of my friends and family have been incredible, even in this difficult climate. They all have taken a moment to tell me he is trash, lazy, and a waste of my time. During the big “break up talk” he kept reiterating how much he babies me and takes care of me, but this crisis really brought to light how little he did for me and how much he relied on me for everything. I was really turning into a glorified nanny to an underemployed adult. Cut to the full LA lockdown, he has not done any shopping, we are both working from home, and he is incredibly angry because he isn’t receiving the type of sympathy from his family he thought he would. I was planning to ride out the pandemic, and the last 30 days of our lease, in our apartment out of stubbornness, but now I’m packing my snacks and the dog and moving to my brother’s house. Nothing like a pandemic to remind you you’re going to be ok!
NSFZoom
MY WHOLE COMPANY JUST SAW ME AND MY GF ALMOST MAKE OUT My girlfriend and I are both lucky enough to have jobs we can work remotely—and jobs, period—so we joined the mass Manhattan exodus yesterday. We holed up at her family's house in Connecticut, and we were ready to ride out the rona free of social interaction and, therefore, social awkwardness. So much for that. This morning, my company held our weekly all-hands over Zoom, the video conferencing app—I do, in fact, work at a startup. I'm in her kitchen, and I've downloaded Zoom without breaking anything, and I'm drinking coffee. Everything's humming right along. Then—as I'm sipping my joe and digitally attending my startup's all-hands like a certified professional—my girlfriend approaches me from behind, says something like "Heyyyyy der my bobo," and, what with my being her bobo and all, I turn around, and we *almost* make out. I say almost because, just as we're about to initiate some light morning Frenching, I realize: My entire company is watching us almost make out right now. I panic. My next move is to execute something between a push and a swat, effectively shoving her out of frame, bringing forth a whole new wave of embarrassment. Namely, to the 35 headphone-donning dudes and dudettes looking on mouths agape, did it look like I just beat up my girlfriend? One who I had nearly tongue-kissed nanoseconds earlier? I have no idea what action items I must action or which deliverables to deliver this week. For the rest of this morning’s fateful all-hands, I could only think of my girlfriend and I’s near-makeout. We’re working through this faux-pocalypse in our own ways.
“This IS a hispanic household”
Day 4 of social distancing with the family. My mother had a full on breakdown when she found out Pechanga casino shut down. It’s getting serious when the casino shuts down! Trying to keep the peace by playing family games such as heads up. This quickly turned into a fight between my mother and bro when he decided he’d rather play fortnite. I think it’s best for my mom and step dad to social distance from each other within the house otherwise all hell will really break loose. Last night my step dad turned off the christmas lights in my sisters room bc they’re “unsafe” and this somehow led my mother to argue with him. This IS a hispanic house hold so you can imagine how loud that was. I sneezed a couple times the other night and my mom was ready to lock me up in my room lol. Luckily I get a break from the chaos at home bc the gym I work at has yet to shut down. Unluckily have to be around so many people at work who aren’t taking this all seriously. (i hope they’re at least washing their hands !)